You know, I've been coaching a lot of people over the years and I am starting to identify some patterns. The pandemic is hard to get over, we come out of it feeling drained, being busier than we ever were and our confidence has definitely been knocked down. I find myself having similar conversations with my clients at levels in different countries and I think it's time to call it.
Here are some of my questions when we explore what's getting in the way of (your) success:
- What's getting in the way of moving forward on that project ?
- What's blocking you from doing XYZ ?
- What can you do differently than you've done the last weeks / months ?
The answer is often: " I do not want to bother people as I know how busy they are"
My next question is often "hum okay then what's the impact for you"? That's often when the light bulb moment happens...
Clients come up with answers like:
- "well... then I am stuck" or
- "I don't have the confidence to tell people what the impact is for me" or
- "I don't want to seem pushy" or
- "I don't want to start saying no, when I never communicated how full my plate is, because I keep saying yes since, Marie...I am a people pleaser" or
- "I don't want people to think I cannot do my job"
Peeps, I dare you to really communicate the impact it has on you. I've had those conversations SO MANY times in the last months and trust me, it's not complaining, it's stating facts and allowing yourself to do your own job :-)
Taking the opportunity to tell people what the impact for you is, if they don't get something done, allows them to put themselves in your shoes, even briefly and understand that they have stuffed up...
What's the worse that can happen anyway? :-)
Building or re building that confidence is important in order for you to thrive and get the outcomes that you need to succeed and not grow an impostor syndrome. Can you imagine the positive impact if you communicate better? Let's have a look:
- A better work-life balance
- Having people respect YOUR deadlines
- Being more organised
- Increasing your communication skills
- Being able to state facts and get the right outcome for your stakeholders
- Feeling like you're having the impact you were meant to have and so much more...
- Building a personal brand that will allow people to see how successful you can be when collaboration works...
Working on confidence is tough but not impossible. One of my C-suite client told me a few weeks ago that when people would ask her for a favour before the coaching engagement, very late at night for the day after she would get it done right away. Impact? Less time with her family, working late hours, no boundaries, burn out... In the middle of our engagement she started communicating that impact and telling others that if they ask for something last minute for the day after she won't look into it outside office hours as it affects her family life. Now people got more organised and respect her schedule and deadline.
Would you like this to be you ? You've got this!
Get in touch, I would love to hear and understand your needs and support you in 2023!
See you soon?