I think we all have the word success in mind, whatever it means, it's hard not to compare yourself with your friends, siblings, ex colleagues or who ever else you think is doing so amazing, when actually they probably think your strategy is better than theirs but never said anything to you...
What is success and how to find it? Isn't that the million dollar question that everyone thinks about at least once or twice ?
- Is it down to comparing yourself to others ?
- Having someone else's approval of your own success ?
- Or knowing what drives you in order to know / measure what you want YOUR success to look like ?
I think the day you stop thinking about what others want success to look like for you and literally *pardon my French* but stop giving a shit about what others think, is when the fun starts !
I realised years ago that I really didn't care about what others thought about my career and how I would drive it. Especially because I found a lot of people to be judgy, annoying and putting unnecessary pressure on me for no good reasons than their own reflection of themselves. When I moved to London to look for my 4th job, I looked for something that matched my interests & values, even though I had NO CLUE about what it could look like. Instead of supporting me, a lot of my friends went on judging mode and I received texts daily from them asking me "what are you going to do if you don't have anything next week or next month?", "what's your deadline to go home" "why don't you get a shitty job and then look for something else, it's the best you can do" - I absolutely never asked them any of this when they were in my shoes and I supported them all the way in their choices. Since I never got the same treatment, I stopped talking to all of the judgy ones (please take your negative energy to someone that enjoys being a victim and being put down - not someone trying their best).
I realised over the years, how driven I had been in those tough years. I am the woman who literally walked out in the middle of interviews that I found were not a match because my energy was better spent on the right job. I also told my recruiter in the UK how an interviewer was just the weirdest ever and that to avoid future complains from other candidates, probably shouldn't send anyone there again! that's right ! Interviewing is hard enough, no need to meet with weirdos... disagree ? sue me !
Have you had those people that told you "how lucky you were to be doing this and that in your career" when it's literally that picture of the iceberg where people don't see the sweat and the fear, just the top : you worked your ass off to make it happen and luck had / has nothing to do with it! I heard it so many times, it just annoys me every time. My answer has been the same since 2014 "If you really want something, just got after it or it's never going to happen". The next annoying question has been "but what's going to happen if you don't reach your goal?" - "I will adapt my strategy and think outside the box, but so far so good"... they never changed theirs, I adapted mine and have been happy with what I have done ever since.
**** I knew this guy who always thought that a dream job would fall into his lap, it did for a while because his mom pulled strings for him, then when she got tired of it, we never heard from him ever again because he didn't have it in him to push alone and he wasn't used to it... This literally makes no sense to me, lucky enough to not worry about money, parents with a network that can help etc and not doing anything at all with these gifts... but hey we are all different ****
In 2019, I struggled a bit as I was so bored in my comfort zone, not learning anything, I decided that a change was needed. That's when everything came together to allow me to build Marie The Coach. Success for me is a mix of a few different things:
- Waking-up in the morning knowing that I am making a difference in someone's life
- Starting the day knowing that I will learn something (I feel that coaching is a 2 way street, you learn from your clients too)
- Knowing that I can adapt my strategies if needed
- Knowing that I am able to reach my financial goals within few months
- Being happy and feeling fulfilled every day to do what I do
- Looking forward to my weeks because I am meeting driven people that want to make the right change
What is success to you ? What would bring YOU happiness ? List 3 things that will make a difference in your next month and work on a strategy to reach them! Go out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself!
Need an accountability partner ? Want to make a difference for yourself ?
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