2020 a year to remember | How I turned my biggest grief into strength
I texted my mom yesterday afternoon (in the middle of the night for her) to tell her that I had passed the exam for my ACC certification from ICF and was finally certified. I was as excited as exhausted. She answered right away and told me something that stuck with me "wow well done darling, you started the year in tears and ended it in an amazing way". 2020 has been such a tough year for everyone, at many levels and our stories are different and linked at the same time: we have all suffered somehow.
I started 2020 with baggage and thought it couldn't get worse. I met my birth family in December 2019 and it took all my energy to face them. It went well. I was happy. A week later, one of my uncles passed away from cancer in one week. 3 weeks later, one of my favourite aunts passed away from a heart attack, that was 3 days after I had moved to Australia. I didn't know anyone in this new country and fell very much alone with my pain, far away from everything and everyone. I was bitter about everything. Out of 4 flights to go home, I cried the last 2 entirely. I rarely cry but couldn't help it at all. Too much to handle, exhausted by the move, pissed off, hurt...You name it!
When I came back to Australia, my pain was so strong that I couldn't even remember why I had decided to become a career coach when I left Singapore. I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, probably couldn't even see any tunnel to be honest, too dark to see anything. I started to resent the new move that brought me so far from home, where I again had to reinvent myself, I felt so done with it all. Grief is your worse enemy, it will tear you down and bring darkness over you, no matter how strong, positive you are. It is the hardest thing to fight. I thought I new this but it turned out, it never broke me this way before.
After pushing my certification from the GoMasterCoach training, a few times, because I was not in the mood, I realised that being angry and sad would not solve anything and I decided to transform my pain into my strength. It was not easy, I think it was a mind switch? I don't know what caused it. I think I realised that my aunt would not want me to cry over her for ages when I should devote my energy to adapt to a new life. Feeling bitter about it would not change anything. I gave myself some deadlines to make sure I would finish the first part of my ACC certification.
Everything then went quickly, I put my mind completely into my launching my company and tried to put my pain and loss behind me. In a few months, I had launched my website, my services, including career and new manager coaching and Interview preparation through "Ace Your Interviews", extended my network while attending what felt like a 1000 webinars, and joined LHH as a freelancer.
I worked full time with clients and peer coaches across the globe to reach my 100 hours for my ACC certification. In the process, I realised how much strengths meant to me and decided to become Gallup certified. From there, it became busier and busier but I have to say that you cannot feel it that much when you love what you do.
I wake up everyday loving what I do and being excited about what I can achieve. It has been a tough and strange year and I choose to remember the positives that came from it, I do not want to be stuck in my pain but use it to keep strong and look ahead. I am now an entrepreneur that keeps learning and hoping to achieve even more in the years to come. A decade ago, when one of my favourite cousins turned 30 she became an entrepreneur, I thought she was crazy, then, years later, when I turned 30, I did the same thing. It is great to follow the foot paths of people you love.
I don't know what 2021 has in store but I am excited for the journey to continue and the amazing clients, coaches, candidates that I will meet through the different channels I use.
I hope to help more of you in your career path in the coming weeks, months, years. Wether you are:
- Looking for a career change,
- A new Manager who needs help adapting,
- Seeking help to understand your strengths
- Needing help to prepare for Interviews
I'll be your partner to help you reflect on what is really important to you and work with you on how you can achieve it.
My Gallup top 5 Strengths: Context | Self Assurance| Positivity | Arranger | Activator
Want to know yours? Understand how I work? Book your chemistry meeting: https://calendly.com/mariethecoach/chemistry-meeting