How to start putting yourself first
I keep having discussions with clients, candidates, peer coaches on this subject: "how do I start saying no, how can I get more time for myself, how can I really draw boundaries" etc.
"Where there is a will, there is a way", I truly believe this in life and anything you wish to change, so therefore in coaching too.
It looks like this has been a recurring subject, especially in our new normal. Of course, it is hard if your work is very demanding, if someone else requires your attention at home or if you are just not good at setting boundaries. Whatever your reason (or excuse) is, if you feel like it's time for a change then let's crack on, shall we?
Don't get me wrong, you're not going to wake up tomorrow and understand how to set healthy boundaries BUT you can wake up and be finally aware that a change is needed and and that the time has come to do something about it. What happens next ?
You can decide to reflect on the last 3-6 months, last year or even more and see where it would have been beneficial to set those boundaries in order to get more time for YOU.
Putting yourself first is not a bad word BUT it will take you out of your comfort zone and challenge you. You might experience that it feels wrong saying no to all the things you used to commit to, to then realise that if you say no, then people will go to someone else or will figure that puzzle out themselves. See it as... allowing others to grow and be a hand off Manager haha. Jokes aside if you never try, you will never know how good it actually feels. There is no learning in the comfort zone guys. It's time work on your growth mindset.
What will happen in 1 month, 3-6 months or even a year from now if you don't even try ?
- Negative emotions, resentment maybe toward yourself and others?
- Going into vicous circles, asking yourself why you always commit to too much and burning your energy trying to get everything done
- Lack of prioritising and time management issues, getting worse everyday, sleeping less...
- A non-healthy WLB because you do not have time to set the right one for yourself
I'm not going to list everything, I think you get the picture! It's definitely all about trying and making sure that you have taken the right steps to "put yourself first" in order for you to get a healthier WLB.
If you have started to do this already, what else could be helpful to keep the momentum going?
If you have been thinking about doing it but "haven't had the time" - whatever your excuse is, what will you start doing in order to try? what does success look like in 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 months from now? and when do you commit to start ?
If this is still hard for you and you need accountability, a sounding board, support, then get in touch and let's make sure that putting yourself first doesn't affect the way you show up at work and that you can still get everything done that really matters to YOU [not others].
For me what works is to reflect with a pen and paper and a cuppa. The day I started saying no and putting myself first [over a year ago], is the day I got this awareness for myself: "I need to put my oxygen mask first, in order to thrive the way I want / need. I am done with producing negative energy that brings me stress. I can still help others when needed BUT I need to be aware of my level of low energy & exhaustion and set boundaries when needed, so people know I can't help them".
It also took the realisation that I was having a burnout once or twice a year and it was not worth it. Since it was a recurrent situation, I wasn't as good as I hoped at setting my own boundaries and having the right WLB.
What is / was your trigger / realisation ?
See you soon?